Life is a game in which you never started but must complete

I'd do a 2015 year in review, but that basically can be summed up in my experiences in Russia more or less since half of 2015 was mostly spent there.

Anyhow ...

Life is like a platformer game. You have to move forward to go to the next level. While some platformer games allow you to go back to earlier parts of the level life is sometimes not like that.

Life and platformer games share obstacles. The obstacles in a platformer are usually jumping from one platform to the next while avoiding getting hit by things like projectiles and monsters. The one thing that they don't share is that if you die you don't come back to life.

Or maybe there is a bit of something in common as well. Platformer games may offer chances to start over again. You get 3 lives at the start and if you make a misstep such as missing a jump, touching the monster without the proper protection, or get hit by a projectile you get to start over at a save point or from the beginning. Life can offer second chances but they're not always readily available.

Now here's where I feel anxiety likes to come into play. I worry that I won't make the jump to the next platform and the monsters and projectiles move too fast for me to dodge them. Both platformers and life can have time limits to complete goals. If the timer runs out you lose a life and have to replay the level over again. So many things in life can cause frustration that it's easier to quit while you're ahead. Quitting while you're ahead is a good strategy if you know the outcome will turn out bad, but quitting while there's a shred of a chance that things will turn out better is pretty much the same was waiting out the timer in the platformer game.

Then again, some people move at a slower pace. I like to believe that I move at a slower pace. I like to make sure everything I need is with me before I move on so I know I'm safe (and believe me, if I'm rushing through things I'll leave behind or overlook things that could be important). The problem with moving at a slower pace is that someone who is faster than you can jump at the opportunity and therefore get the job or the post that you've wanted. I don't think it's a good idea to go into things head first but at the same time I wish I could have that type of brain that didn't think too much. Caution is good but being overly cautious can hinder.

But there are good things about second chances though. Especially if you've been through the stage the first time but missed out on completing it. You know where to go to return to the point where you've left off (depending on what point the game returns you to) and you have some idea of knowing how to handle the game and where to go next. You know what monsters you'll have to face and how to defeat them. There are others who have played the same game before and know how to help you fight the final boss. Maybe they have failed too but if they can help others in defeating that boss you know that they've succeeded and they want you to succeed too.

Which leads to asking for help. I know I can be hard headed at times and I do want to do things on my own (well, certain things, there are moments when I want others to do things for me) but asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Why? Because when you get the help you need you can become stronger. Anxiety would laugh and say "Ha ha, you are weak! They will never help you after what happened the last time." Well maybe the last time you interacted with the person that can potentially help you might've forgotten about what happened the last time or deemed it as not affecting your relationship with them whatsoever (for example you told a joke and no one found it funny but at the same time no one thought it was bad). If it's a person that tells you that you're weak for asking for help all the time, they don't really want to help you and pretty much see it as an opportunity for them to succeed. If there are those lessons that repeat themselves over so many times, one of them has got to be that there will be people who will take advantage of your weakness whether you choose to be open about it or not. If the platformer has a multiplayer mode these people will attack other players in the game as well as the monsters or wait for you to mess up.

And this leads back to the waiting for the timer to run out situation. If others can drag you down, so can you. Sitting and waiting for the timer to run out won't get you anywhere other than where you've stopped (yes, even if the game has started and you haven't played it yet). The best thing one can do is move. Move forward in the figurative sense. It can be either by tiny steps such as admitting you have a problem and need help, crying and rocking in the foetal position to release some of the bottled up emotions or it may be that the game has a wall that's scrolling from the left which forces you to only move forward and jump through obstacles. In a real life situation it may be taking the hard pill to swallow, eating your vegetables and doing the thing you hate just for who knows how long (like waking up early in the morning when you prefer to be a night owl).

From this I see life is suited for the person who can handle the platformer game. This person is not afraid of the obstacles such as jumping platforms, fighting monsters and dodging projectiles. Not everyone can handle those situations. Some people like puzzles, other like simulations, and you got people who prefer RPG's and whatever other game time is out there (board games too). I think the way life should be viewed is a multi-genre game. You have elements of the side-scrolling platformer with puzzles that puzzle-loving people can solve mixed with the strategies involved in RPG's and certain board games as well as fighting challenges. You can try to complete the game on your own or you can complete it with the help from others (walkthroughs to get through certain levels when actual people aren't around or if dealing with actual people isn't your thing). Essentially it's working as a team with certain aspects that you can figure out solo is how the game is played.

Doughnuts (a parable)

Two doughnut shops stood across from each other on the same street in the same town. Both shops made the same kind of doughnut: a cake with no hole. The owner of the store on the south side didn't like the store on the north side because they were attracting more customers. The owner tried different things to make people come come to her shop. She tried making a bigger sign but that didn't make people come to her shop. She tried offering a discount on a dozen (12 for the price of 10) but that still didn't make more people come over. She then tried to change the interior of her shop and still that didn't make more people come over. One day she decided to visit the store across the street and when she looked through the window she saw that their doughnuts have sugar coating. It was then she decided that she needed to coat her doughnuts with sugar. It worked for a bit but she still wasn't matching the sales that the north had. Her employees offer her advice but she doesn't listen to them because she is Queen and she is God and thus is in control of everything. Anyone who opposed her got fired.

One day the owner of the north side store visited the south. She knows that the south owner doesn't like her but she still wanted to help her. South owner then asked, "What is it that you do to make customers come to you?"
"It's quite simple," North's owner answered. "It's not about how fancy the store or the doughnuts look but the quality of the service and quality of the doughnuts. My store may not be as attractive as yours but customers like my doughnuts because I'm always making something new. Customers have different tastes so I offer many different flavours of my product. I also seek to create new recipes to match my customer's needs whether they are allergic to something or not. I saw that you go by my shop every day to see what I do and I noticed that you got some ideas. Let me tell you this: there is no right way to eat a doughnut. You can just eat it straight away or lick the sugar off and eat the rest of the doughnut after. With your doughnuts you use the sugar coating to hide how bland your doughnuts are. With my doughnuts I add in something extra. I add in filling because after the sugar is gone there is surely a sweet surprise waiting for them." After sharing her secret the north owner left to return to her shop.

Now there are two possible endings to this story. First is South owner takes the advice and puts in effort to change the quality and her store's sales increase a lot. The second is she doesn't take the advice and her store continues to suffer to the point where she goes bankrupt.

The moral of this is quality trumps over quantity. You can have both quality and quantity but don't sacrifice quality for quantity. Oh yeah if you're a boss or some big head of something, your underlings may have good ideas even if they haven't been in the business long enough so listen to them as well.

Throwback to 2014

So it's 2015 and it's my first post of the year on this thing (and I hardly use this unless I want to put my thoughts out on a wide scale).

So what happened in 2014 for me? Hard for me to think back to the early part of the year so might as well deal with the most prominent memories first.

2014 was the year I almost went to Azerbaijan. The story goes as follows: I found an ad for a job on a site that lists ESL/EFL teaching jobs (if you don't know what ESL and EFL are they're acronyms for teaching English as a second language or foreign language). This was after I was interviewed for a job in Russia but waited almost 3 weeks for a response to tell me that my qualifications (possibly experience) were not enough. Anyways so I came across the ad and tried my luck with it and within a couple of days I was scheduled for an interview and the person who interviewed me basically asked questions about what I've submitted and told me about the job and a bit about the capital city of Baku. Within hours after the interview ended I got an offer and said yes. Between submitting copies of my documents and waiting for the o.k. to apply for a visa I prepared for going over there such as packing a suitcase and writing posts on Facebook to educate people on Azerbaijan (IMO it's not that well known of a country since it doesn't appear much in the news). Hell yeah I was excited on going there because it would've been the start of some adventure and the place combined both my interests in Russian and Turkish languages (since Azerbaijani is a Turkic language related to Turkish Turkish but with some Russian influence and some connections to Persian). After all, Azerbaijan was part of the Soviet Union.
            So after waiting almost two months (and telling people I was going there) I got word that I couldn't go because of some migration quota. Application from the Azerbaijani side was denied because of it. It was and still is disappointing because I was worked up for it. Maybe the school that hired me didn't know about the quota as well. I did apply for jobs in other places but so far Azerbaijan was the one that gave me a job offer. Here's to hoping I find a job in 2015

On a slightly related note 2014 was also the year I started volunteering at a local centre for helping immigrants. My job there: reading group leader. I actually applied to volunteer there around the end of 2013 but 2014 was the year I got calls for positions there. At first I was called to volunteer there in February but I had a busy schedule as a mascot for Winterlude. I thought the people forgot about be until I got a call in late March/early April. At first I was a bit scared because it was all happening so fast but once I was secured getting rides there and reasoning it to getting some related experience I said yes. I wish I could do something more but I guess I'll wait until I get a teaching job somewhere.

2014 I could say was a bit of an interesting summer. I was able to wander around Toronto for a bit solo (since my dad had some 40th year reunion and mom went along with him, might as well just share the hotel space and do my own thing). I saw the ROM (Royal Ontario Museum) and just as I was about halfway through exploring the gift shop I saw Palestinian flags. I thought it was kind of cool not to miss so I left the gift shop and took photos of the demonstration (protest maybe?).

One of the photos I took

It turns out that the Israeli consulate was across the street so that's one of the reasons why the event took place there.
           I was also able to wander around the neighbourhood I grew up in/spent my younger years (Yonge and Lawrence East). Before my grandparents moved to Ottawa to be closer to the bulk of us they lived in Toronto and 3 times a year I would visit them (Easter, summer, and Thanksgiving). The house is still there with the outside having a lot more decorations and extra windows.When I was a kid I couldn't wander the area alone exactly so I thought it might as well see how much the place had changed. Of course a lot of changes were made since 2001 such as the Dominion grocery store became a Metro. The subway station, however, was still as I remember it though.

One of the events that should probably takes more prominence here is the events of late October, the 22nd, because I live in the city when and where it happened.  A ceremonial guard stood outside the tomb of the unknown soldier got shot and died after. I remember being glued to the TV wondering what was going on, like was there more than one shooter. Also that day my area of the city had a power outage and for that to happen that day was a bit scary but in the end it wasn't related to the events downtown. It was a sad day but from my perspective as a city we carried on the next day.

I guess there are other things to talk about but my attention span for this ran out. Here's hoping it doesn't when I get to posting my NaNoWriMo 2014 entry on Wattpad or deviantArt.

No two universities are alike/my experiences so far

So I'm almost done my fall semester at Carleton doing their CTESL (Certificate in Teaching English as a Second Language) program. Not sure what that is? I refer to you one of my earlier posts.

One thing I noticed with Carleton is some of their courses are full semester courses. That is the course you sign up for in the fall will be in that very same time slot in the winter. With that I have to suffer with doing an assignment over the break whereas if I was still going to MUN I would be lying on the couch all day watching movies or maybe trying to get through 1 season of a TV show.

Second thing is the way the schedule operates. I'm sure Carleton has those 3x a week for 1 hour courses but I haven't encountered them in my program so I am uncertain what courses they are (most of my courses at MUN were like that). My schedule at Carleton is filled with mostly two 1.5 to 2 hours courses (meets every Tues. and Thurs for example) with some once a week 2-3 hour courses (meets every Mon. evening). Maybe this is their preferred way of scheduling?

Anyway . . . one of the courses I have to take is a practicum which is basically learn and experience what goes on in a classroom. If you remember in elementary school (maybe some of you in secondary school as well) you may have encountered the student teacher who maybe helps you with your schoolwork or on occasion teaches a lesson. Apparently that is what I have become except my setting was in an ESL classroom.

Now I have two practicum placements for the whole year. I have already completed my first placement and can't wait for the day I get to "choose" (it's first to raise their hand that gets the location) my next one (maybe because I'll hope to encounter a Russian, Croatian, or maybe someone from Turkey). For my first placement I chose a literacy classroom. What is it exactly? Teaching how to read and write. The class I was in was for those who are 1) literate in their first language but the "alphabet" in their first language does not use the Roman alphabet, 2) are illiterate in their first language, or 3) come from an oral culture where there is no written form or a written form is not really used (kinda like situation 2). Who I encountered in my class (including the ones who got promoted to the level 1 ESL classes along the way) came from the following countries: Kuwait, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Somalia, Macedonia, Nepal, Bhutan (Nepali speaking person), Laos, and Burma/Myanmar (Karen people). From this bunch I think I may have an idea who I might expect to see in my next placement.

With the class I did my practicum in there was a routine: The students would write something dictated to them on the board then everyone would copy that into their journals/notebooks. Then the teacher would write something on the board, for example "Did you have a good weekend?" if it was a on a Monday and on another board write "Today there ____ ____ teachers and _____ students" to get them to practice their numbers. Usually the days I'm there the teacher would say something like after copying the first board raise your hand to let <insert my name here here> know you're ready but no one does that, they usually do so once they copied down everything. Not sure why they don't do it, maybe it's because they're more comfortable with the teacher or if they're thinking "I should copy down everything first" or "I need to copy everything". 90% of the time I would be thinking it rude to ask them "May I listen to you read what you have so far". Lesson learned there: assert yourself.

After the journals they would be doing some activity, whether it's a "fill in the missing letters" dictation or a worksheet. Sometime they would be learning something new whether it's through a 10 line story with related activities or a story from a handout. There were activities that would teach them certain concepts like "please speak slowly/louder", "please can you say that again?" I led a couple of activities as well and comparing the two I did I found it difficult to create one of my own versus organizing one that's already made. Also with leading activities it is to be expected that not everyone will be looking at you whether it's out of boredom or maybe they're still struggling with the first thing I said.

So that's what went down in my practicum placement. Someone else doing the same as me would have either a similar experience or something different. Anyway that's enough from me.

30 Day Challenge: Day 26

Day 26 - What is something non-academic that you’ve learned at college?


Life skills. I guess I can say this is pretty much true for anyone who lives away from the parents. If you have them wake you up each morning reminding you you're going to be late, that's not gonna happen (unless they call you to make sure you get up. As much as they love you let them know you're an independent adult). 


Laundry, if you haven't done it before, you learn how to do that (unless you save your laundry for your trips home. Save you from saving up coins for the machine but you need to know how to wash your clothes on your own, even if it means losing your favourite sweater from forgetting that you are doing laundry).


Cooking. Unless you are spoiled by dining hall or constantly visiting a fast food place nearly every day eventually you will find a way to make food, whether it's from the box or from scratch.


reasons why not to do things on an empty stomach. I have seen someone pass out from doing a combination of alcohol and weed and not eating beforehand. you have to make sure the person is still breathing and not choking on vomit.


that's all I have to offer for this post